We grew up on Dead Lake. We actually grew up IN Dead Lake. That water took part in nurturing us into the woman we are today. This time of year feels a certain way to me because of that lake...
Every year on Labor Day Weekend the resorts would close up for the season. They would pull all the docks unto shore, lock up all the cabins, secure all the boats and all of a sudden it was silent. My dock, the dock I dreamed on, would be pulled into a camp site sitting at a 45 degree angle with the highest part staring out unto the lake. I can remember the evolution of fall starting with that, and eventually the crunching of leaves as I walked to the dock, and then soon it getting too cold with the wind coming off the water for it to be a comforting place.
It was time to say goodbye to the sun and water when you walked to the resort and found everything silent and dead. And although my feet could no longer dangle into the warm water because my dock had been winterized- I could lay at that 45 degree angle and listen to the wind and watch the leaves fall from the trees one by one. It was time to be alone, and have the whole world to yourself and think. It was time for a cool breeze with that perfect smell of dying leaves. It was time for change.
It's ironic to me now that the big, hard, tough things,the most painful struggles that I have been though have all happened right around this time of year. My uncle Wade died on August 28th, my husband left me on September 12th, and this year I am in a struggle. But I have always known this feeling, in this season. Come September, no matter how hard life may be- when I smell that breeze I am fine, there is peace in the silence and I have no struggle to be present. The brisk fall air is cleansing to my soul. When the noise of summer of fades, and all that's left is red and orange- I feel completely centered even if my world is spinning.
This too shall pass. It always does. I am glad it's September. I am ready for that breeze...
