forgiving

Hi,

This weekend I took a break from the boys and went camping with the Perfect 4. We ended up randomly staying in Ella, Wi which was weird cause it was close to Ellsworth, where you're living, and so I thought about you a lot.

I really haven't had very much time to think about you up until this weekend. I have been busy raising our son with all of my heart, soul and strength. He is strong and feisty; funny and compassionate. He is a lot like both of us. He is a free spirit to his core. He is wild at heart, but loves to love. He is smart, and he is kind.

This weekend I realized that I have to forgive you. I have to forgive you for everything. I was so afraid that if I didn't constantly remember everything you did, and how bad it was that I would be vulnerable to you or someone like you again someday. But I need to forgive you, and let go. I was gripping so tightly to the bad memories, to the bad side of you, to the lies, to the hurt, to the pain so that it wouldn't happen again- I was living in that place.

I need to forgive you for our son. I need to forgive you so that every time I see something in him that reminds me of you I won't panic, or feel resentment. I need to forgive you so that I can love your son with a pure heart.

I forgive you.

I am going to try to remember the things that I hope our son can inherit from you like your sense of humor, and adventurous spirit, your love of nature, and passion for music.

I am going to let go of all the rest, and live in this place.

In peace,

Tausha